Keys to being a good mother are as follows:
1. Drink plenty of water (seriously its a good habit to have personally and for your children)
2. Drink plenty of coffee (seriously its such a good habit to have personally, for your mental state)
3. Get plenty of sleep...(can someone translate what that means for me?)
4. Eat healthy (don't find random things and throw it on a plate and call it dinner...scary)
5. Get that body moving (picking up toys = good abs, folding clothes = good arms...etc everyone has no excuse right!?!?!)
....
Who am I kidding? I drink whatever I can, I live on coffee (its one of the most basic of food groups), I don't sleep nearly enough but its the "season of life"...aka parenthood. I don't always eat healthy, I do always eat quick. I pick up toys and clean the house and run errands....but I don't actually run I drive because if I'm running you should be too (away from whatever is behind me!).
- you do you mama's! :)
Tuesday, August 23, 2016
Monday, August 22, 2016
Juggling it all...I'm not a freaking clown
Sometimes I feel like I'm the star of those weird circus freak's you pay extra to visit. The cow with 2 heads, or the lady with the longest neck...you get my picture. My life sometimes feels like a circus and I feel like the clown in the crazy outfit trying to juggle it all. From sun up to sun down I'm putting on some performance with my duties as the balls being tossed up in a round circle...except here lately I feel like I'm dropping them every few rotations. I'm not a clown but man sometimes life feels like it.
Friday, August 19, 2016
Total Opposite
This morning on the drive to school my little was in the backseat entertaining herself. I started thinking about our weekend, and the past few weeks and past few weekends. Trying to figure out exactly what I have going on so that I could be prepared with a generalized mental list of things to do, places to go, and goals I had. Then it hit me, when did it change? When did the norm change from simple to busy. Why is it so normal and common for our lives to be chocked full of things to do that we rarely get to have time to chill. It used to be a treat to go somewhere on the weekends, or a special outing to the store to get new clothes. Now, its a treat to stay home. WHEN DID THIS HAPPNEN? Are we scared that our kids are going to be board at home? Are we scared we will be board at home? Do we find out self worth in our busy? I know my busy will not stop today because I've had this epiphany but I may go through this weekend a little more conscious of it and try to find rest and solace in just being.
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
My village
The saying is very true..."It takes a village to raise a child" and I think I have a pretty great village.
I do not know what I would do without the help and support of family and friends. I am not typically open to help. I like to offer help, but I do not like to receive it. Somewhere along the way that became a sign of weakness for me. I don't know where it stems, I'm sure a few thousand dollars and a good shrink may be able to tell me, but alas, I don't have that or the time so I self diagnose.
One of the toughest lessons, but most important lessons (not the most important, but it does rank up there) I learned was to let others help. At first (and even now some) I felt like their offer to help was because they felt I was inadequate to do it on my own. The slip of a $20.00 bill meant I didn't have the funds to do or buy whatever. The offer to wash my kids clothes was because I didn't wash them myself. The offer to give my kid a bath before I picked her up, meant they didn't think I was going to give her a bath that night, or that I never gave her a bath. The request to go into the pantry and grab whatever we wanted and take it home, meant I didn't have enough groceries or food at my house (we have plenty I promise). It took me a LONG time and some serious soul searching to get to a place where I was comfortable with help. Then opened another can of worms. I didn't and don't want my friends and family to think now I expect it. So when they offered help in any capacity I would accept it but also stress that they did it only because they felt they had to and that they probably thought I expected it. Oh the internal struggle went on. And then, it hit me...no matter what anyone does or doesn't do I'm going to struggle with it to a degree. However, I have to realize that they don't do it because I expect it or because they feel bad for me...they do it because they love me and my little bug more than I will probably ever realize.
My village is awesome, they know how to help and when to help and they challenge me to be a better mom. A better daughter, sister, niece, aunt, cousin, friend, colleague...and without them I would not be able to do all that I do for my bug.
I rely a lot on my village, they are helping me raise my beautiful sassy spunky bug and for that I'm forever grateful!
I do not know what I would do without the help and support of family and friends. I am not typically open to help. I like to offer help, but I do not like to receive it. Somewhere along the way that became a sign of weakness for me. I don't know where it stems, I'm sure a few thousand dollars and a good shrink may be able to tell me, but alas, I don't have that or the time so I self diagnose.
One of the toughest lessons, but most important lessons (not the most important, but it does rank up there) I learned was to let others help. At first (and even now some) I felt like their offer to help was because they felt I was inadequate to do it on my own. The slip of a $20.00 bill meant I didn't have the funds to do or buy whatever. The offer to wash my kids clothes was because I didn't wash them myself. The offer to give my kid a bath before I picked her up, meant they didn't think I was going to give her a bath that night, or that I never gave her a bath. The request to go into the pantry and grab whatever we wanted and take it home, meant I didn't have enough groceries or food at my house (we have plenty I promise). It took me a LONG time and some serious soul searching to get to a place where I was comfortable with help. Then opened another can of worms. I didn't and don't want my friends and family to think now I expect it. So when they offered help in any capacity I would accept it but also stress that they did it only because they felt they had to and that they probably thought I expected it. Oh the internal struggle went on. And then, it hit me...no matter what anyone does or doesn't do I'm going to struggle with it to a degree. However, I have to realize that they don't do it because I expect it or because they feel bad for me...they do it because they love me and my little bug more than I will probably ever realize.
My village is awesome, they know how to help and when to help and they challenge me to be a better mom. A better daughter, sister, niece, aunt, cousin, friend, colleague...and without them I would not be able to do all that I do for my bug.
I rely a lot on my village, they are helping me raise my beautiful sassy spunky bug and for that I'm forever grateful!
Monday, August 15, 2016
routine...really???
If I have learned one thing I have learned that both me and my little one thrive on routine. If I have learned anything else it's that life is not routine.
Trying to balance life and routine is almost impossible. Things happen, plans change, plans are made...it just doesn't always work or fit. It almost seems impossible to have a real life routine, especially because its just me.
I have the hardest time being the all knowing all seeing all doing mom. I work a full time job, I have a part time online job, we have sports we are involved in and I have pick up and drop off for school and sports...the list goes on.
Despite knowing that there is no true hope right now, in our lives for routine I do not stop trying. I keep working towards a set bedtime every night, a set meal time every evening (all while trying to include more veggies and fruit), I still try to make sure play time happens...I don't give up. I know that life happens things come up but for her sake (and mine) I will fight it.
I may never have a perfect routine, shoot I may never have anything that resembles a routine...but I will choose to have a happy healthy daughter and a happy healthy mama! I will fight the rush and stress and pull for her sake and for our families sake. I know I can't do it all but I will fight to be her all.
Trying to balance life and routine is almost impossible. Things happen, plans change, plans are made...it just doesn't always work or fit. It almost seems impossible to have a real life routine, especially because its just me.
I have the hardest time being the all knowing all seeing all doing mom. I work a full time job, I have a part time online job, we have sports we are involved in and I have pick up and drop off for school and sports...the list goes on.
Despite knowing that there is no true hope right now, in our lives for routine I do not stop trying. I keep working towards a set bedtime every night, a set meal time every evening (all while trying to include more veggies and fruit), I still try to make sure play time happens...I don't give up. I know that life happens things come up but for her sake (and mine) I will fight it.
I may never have a perfect routine, shoot I may never have anything that resembles a routine...but I will choose to have a happy healthy daughter and a happy healthy mama! I will fight the rush and stress and pull for her sake and for our families sake. I know I can't do it all but I will fight to be her all.
Monday, August 8, 2016
Is it hard?
I was asked recently if it was hard to truly be a single mom. The answer is yes it is hard, however, there are a lot of things in life that are hard.
Being a parent both male and female no matter solo or coupled together it is hard. Each day brings a new challenge or battle or frustration...the list goes on. Each age brings new hurdles to cross and parents of girls...the E-M-O-T-I-O-N-S....they are very very very real and present even at a young age.
I can only speak for my situation as to what is hard and what is not. I was lucky that in the beginning it was not only me I had a LOT of support and help and for that I am very grateful. We did have some hiccups along the way that I think, had there been some extra help parent wise we could have avoided them or even resolved them a lot quicker. One thing I have learned is that I have to figure out how to handle situations best. In order to do that I have to think about what a mom and a dad would do. I of course, to get reference think about my parents and how they handled situations.
I'm still learning, and I think I will be learning for years to come, that each situation is different. Some need a gentle coax while others need a straight up fight. Some need some hugs and some needs to time apart. I have to learn what triggers cause meltdowns and I have to remind myself that even though I'm worn out, and doubting the decision I've just made that I can do this. Giving myself pep talks happens more than not. I imagine if I were in a dual parent relationship WE would be able to build each other up during those tough moments.
Those tough moments are the moments that really make single parenting hard. By no means are they the only thing that makes it hard or the biggest thing that makes it hard but it is something that dual parenting can defiantly help with.
Yes parenting is hard, we all know its hard. Raising tiny humans with very real feelings wants desires and dreams in a crazy world is hard. Raising kids alone is hard, raising kids together is hard... its all hard. BUT, it is the most enjoyable fulfilling thing I have ever done. I wouldn't trade any of it for a different life. I would enjoy a cleaner house from time to time, but even then the toys and the mess remind me that life has been there and love lives there.
Being a parent both male and female no matter solo or coupled together it is hard. Each day brings a new challenge or battle or frustration...the list goes on. Each age brings new hurdles to cross and parents of girls...the E-M-O-T-I-O-N-S....they are very very very real and present even at a young age.
I can only speak for my situation as to what is hard and what is not. I was lucky that in the beginning it was not only me I had a LOT of support and help and for that I am very grateful. We did have some hiccups along the way that I think, had there been some extra help parent wise we could have avoided them or even resolved them a lot quicker. One thing I have learned is that I have to figure out how to handle situations best. In order to do that I have to think about what a mom and a dad would do. I of course, to get reference think about my parents and how they handled situations.
I'm still learning, and I think I will be learning for years to come, that each situation is different. Some need a gentle coax while others need a straight up fight. Some need some hugs and some needs to time apart. I have to learn what triggers cause meltdowns and I have to remind myself that even though I'm worn out, and doubting the decision I've just made that I can do this. Giving myself pep talks happens more than not. I imagine if I were in a dual parent relationship WE would be able to build each other up during those tough moments.
Those tough moments are the moments that really make single parenting hard. By no means are they the only thing that makes it hard or the biggest thing that makes it hard but it is something that dual parenting can defiantly help with.
Yes parenting is hard, we all know its hard. Raising tiny humans with very real feelings wants desires and dreams in a crazy world is hard. Raising kids alone is hard, raising kids together is hard... its all hard. BUT, it is the most enjoyable fulfilling thing I have ever done. I wouldn't trade any of it for a different life. I would enjoy a cleaner house from time to time, but even then the toys and the mess remind me that life has been there and love lives there.
Monday, August 1, 2016
Sweet nuggets
Being a single mom has some advantages. I get to have all the snuggles and cuddles and hugs and kisses!
I am one who shares my feelings towards little bug whenever I can. I want her to know, and NEVER doubt, that she is loved. I want her to feel how special she is to me and our family. I want her to know how talented I think she is and how smart she is. I want to make sure that she knows and never doubts my sentiments towards her.
What is extremely special is when she offers up "I love you" on her own. Or, when she says "you are the best mommy!" These sweet sentiments when unprompted but freely given are so precious to me. In that moment, whatever the context, she understands the feeling of love and she shares it.
I want her to always acknowledge her feelings both positive and negative. I of course, don't want her to dwell on the bad, but I want her to know those feelings when they come. It's from those negative/bad/icky feelings that we are able to embrace with fervor the good ones. I want her to focus on the good and embrace it.
I am amazed at how such a sweet little life can understand one of life's most complicated feelings.
Life is too short not to tell our loved one's exactly how we feel! Do it today, take a leap of faith and tell someone that you love them. Watch their eyes sparkled and their smile show up bright like the morning sun. It does the soul good.
I am one who shares my feelings towards little bug whenever I can. I want her to know, and NEVER doubt, that she is loved. I want her to feel how special she is to me and our family. I want her to know how talented I think she is and how smart she is. I want to make sure that she knows and never doubts my sentiments towards her.
What is extremely special is when she offers up "I love you" on her own. Or, when she says "you are the best mommy!" These sweet sentiments when unprompted but freely given are so precious to me. In that moment, whatever the context, she understands the feeling of love and she shares it.
I want her to always acknowledge her feelings both positive and negative. I of course, don't want her to dwell on the bad, but I want her to know those feelings when they come. It's from those negative/bad/icky feelings that we are able to embrace with fervor the good ones. I want her to focus on the good and embrace it.
I am amazed at how such a sweet little life can understand one of life's most complicated feelings.
Life is too short not to tell our loved one's exactly how we feel! Do it today, take a leap of faith and tell someone that you love them. Watch their eyes sparkled and their smile show up bright like the morning sun. It does the soul good.
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