Parenthood is hard. I have been at this for a few years now and I have done my research. I have watched videos, I have read blogs, I have asked questions. I have pondered my own upbringing and I have analalyzed the way my cousins and friends were brought up. I have tried to glean every single bit of information possible from those who have walked this road before me, are walking it with me, and those who claim to have all the answers. What I found is no one really has it all together. You read that right, NO ONE has it all together. We are all on this journey working daily just trying to survive it.

When I started out on this journey called "Motherhood" I thought it was going to be a cake walk. I just knew I was meant to be a mom, that it was natural and everything would flow into this wonderful picturesque idea of being a mom. Then reality hit and WHOA it was like getting hit by a semi truck every few minutes every day for weeks on end. Those weeks turned into months and those months into years and eventually the knocks from the semi truck were just a part of our everyday life.

We all figure out our own path, and when we have methods or routines or ideas that work we become these amazing advocates for whatever that is. We begin to share our methods with moms who we think are struggling or lets be hones, we are darn proud and we want to share it so someone else can be proud of us too. Because, we all know that being a mom is the most thankless unforgiving job we could ever even think about having. And, we don't always need to be affirmed (because it will NOT happen) its nice to hear it.

Let me reiterate this: We all figure out our own path...and despite what anyone says or does or thinks...we are ALL figuring it out. FIGURING it out day by day. Sticking with what we know works for our little miracles and digging in deep trying to figure out how to make others work.

Mama's don't beat yourself up over you kid only eating macaroni and cheese, or your kid being taller or bigger or shorter or not yet talking or not yet potty trained....your kid is amazing. Each child must have millions of things to happen during conception in order for them to be here...they are amazing. They are also all different and unique and its a beautiful thing. Don't stress if you don't have it picture perfect no one does. If they say they do they are lying. We are going to worry forever, and we are going to question everything and heck we are going to make mistakes. We are mama's and we are fierce and awesome and we are going to do whatever we have to for our babies.

GOOD JOB mama! :)

Keys to success...who am I kidding -

Keys to being a good mother are as follows:


1. Drink plenty of water (seriously its a good habit to have personally and for your children)
2. Drink plenty of coffee (seriously its such a good habit to have personally, for your mental state)
3. Get plenty of sleep...(can someone translate what that means for me?)
4. Eat healthy (don't find random things and throw it on a plate and call it dinner...scary)
5. Get that body moving (picking up toys = good abs, folding clothes = good arms...etc everyone has no excuse right!?!?!)


....


Who am I kidding? I drink whatever I can, I live on coffee (its one of the most basic of food groups), I don't sleep nearly enough but its the "season of life"...aka parenthood. I don't always eat healthy, I do always eat quick. I pick up toys and clean the house and run errands....but I don't actually run I drive because if I'm running you should be too (away from whatever is behind me!).




- you do you mama's! :)

Juggling it all...I'm not a freaking clown

Sometimes I feel like I'm the star of those weird circus freak's you pay extra to visit. The cow with 2 heads, or the lady with the longest neck...you get my picture. My life sometimes feels like a circus and I feel like the clown in the crazy outfit trying to juggle it all. From sun up to sun down I'm putting on some performance with my duties as the balls being tossed up in a round circle...except here lately I feel like I'm dropping them every few rotations. I'm not a clown but man sometimes life feels like it.

Total Opposite

This morning on the drive to school my little was in the backseat entertaining herself. I started thinking about our weekend, and the past few weeks and past few weekends. Trying to figure out exactly what I have going on so that I could be prepared with a generalized mental list of things to do, places to go, and goals I had. Then it hit me, when did it change? When did the norm change from simple to busy. Why is it so normal and common for our lives to be chocked full of things to do that we rarely get to have time to chill. It used to be a treat to go somewhere on the weekends, or a special outing to the store to get new clothes. Now, its a treat to stay home. WHEN DID THIS HAPPNEN? Are we scared that our kids are going to be board at home? Are we scared we will be board at home? Do we find out self worth in our busy? I know my busy will not stop today because I've had this epiphany but I may go through this weekend a little more conscious of it and try to find rest and solace in just being.

My village

The saying is very true..."It takes a village to raise a child" and I think I have a pretty great village.

I do not know what I would do without the help and support of family and friends. I am not typically open to help. I like to offer help, but I do not like to receive it. Somewhere along the way that became a sign of weakness for me. I don't know where it stems, I'm sure a few thousand dollars and a good shrink may be able to tell me, but alas, I don't have that or the time so I self diagnose.

One of the toughest lessons, but most important lessons (not the most important, but it does rank up there) I learned was to let others help. At first (and even now some) I felt like their offer to help was because they felt I was inadequate to do it on my own. The slip of a $20.00 bill meant I didn't have the funds to do or buy whatever. The offer to wash my kids clothes was because I didn't wash them myself. The offer to give my kid a bath before I picked her up, meant they didn't think I was going to give her a bath that night, or that I never gave her a bath. The request to go into the pantry and grab whatever we wanted and take it home, meant I didn't have enough groceries or food at my house (we have plenty I promise). It took me a LONG time and some serious soul searching to get to a place where I was comfortable with help. Then opened another can of worms. I didn't and don't want my friends and family to think now I expect it. So when they offered help in any capacity I would accept it but also stress that they did it only because they felt they had to and that they probably thought I expected it. Oh the internal struggle went on. And then, it hit me...no matter what anyone does or doesn't do I'm going to struggle with it to a degree. However, I have to realize that they don't do it because I expect it or because they feel bad for me...they do it because they love me and my little bug more than I will probably ever realize.

My village is awesome, they know how to help and when to help and they challenge me to be a better mom. A better daughter, sister, niece, aunt, cousin, friend, colleague...and without them I would not be able to do all that I do for my bug.

I rely a lot on my village, they are helping me raise my beautiful sassy spunky bug and for that I'm forever grateful!

routine...really???

If I have learned one thing I have learned that both me and my little one thrive on routine. If I have learned anything else it's that life is not routine.

Trying to balance life and routine is almost impossible. Things happen, plans change, plans are made...it just doesn't always work or fit. It almost seems impossible to have a real life routine, especially because its just me.

I have the hardest time being the all knowing all seeing all doing mom. I work a full time job, I have a part time online job, we have sports we are involved in and I have pick up and drop off for school and sports...the list goes on.

Despite knowing that there is no true hope right now, in our lives for routine I do not stop trying. I keep working towards a set bedtime every night, a set meal time every evening (all while trying to include more veggies and fruit), I still try to make sure play time happens...I don't give up. I know that life happens things come up but for her sake (and mine) I will fight it.

I may never have a perfect routine, shoot I may never have anything that resembles a routine...but I will choose to have a happy healthy daughter and a happy healthy mama! I will fight the rush and stress and pull for her sake and for our families sake. I know I can't do it all but I will fight to be her all.

Is it hard?

I was asked recently if it was hard to truly be a single mom. The answer is yes it is hard, however, there are a lot of things in life that are hard.

Being a parent both male and female no matter solo or coupled together it is hard. Each day brings a new challenge or battle or frustration...the list goes on. Each age brings new hurdles to cross and parents of girls...the E-M-O-T-I-O-N-S....they are very very very real and present even at a young age.

I can only speak for my situation as to what is hard and what is not. I was lucky that in the beginning it was not only me I had a LOT of support and help and for that I am very grateful. We did have some hiccups along the way that I think, had there been some extra help parent wise we could have avoided them or even resolved them a lot quicker. One thing I have learned is that I have to figure out how to handle situations best. In order to do that I have to think about what a mom and a dad would do. I of course, to get reference think about my parents and how they handled situations.

I'm still learning, and I think I will be learning for years to come, that each situation is different. Some need a gentle coax while others need a straight up fight. Some need some hugs and some needs to time apart. I have to learn what triggers cause meltdowns and I have to remind myself that even though I'm worn out, and doubting the decision I've just made that I can do this. Giving myself pep talks happens more than not. I imagine if I were in a dual parent relationship WE would be able to build each other up during those tough moments.

Those tough moments are the moments that really make single parenting hard. By no means are they the only thing that makes it hard or the biggest thing that makes it hard but it is something that dual parenting can defiantly help with.

Yes parenting is hard, we all know its hard. Raising tiny humans with very real feelings wants desires and dreams in a crazy world is hard. Raising kids alone is hard, raising kids together is hard... its all hard. BUT, it is the most enjoyable fulfilling thing I have ever done. I wouldn't trade any of it for a different life. I would enjoy a cleaner house from time to time, but even then the toys and the mess remind me that life has been there and love lives there.